It's that time of year again. The summer is slowing down for many. Memories were made with family and friends. Some children have already started their school year and before long everyone will be back to the grind. With this happening, many people are excited, scared, nervous, and even "blue" (a.k.a. sad). Parents and children alike have different emotions toward the start of a new school year.
One thing that has gotten my attention more this year compared to past years is parent's excitement. I have seen several news articles discussing and sharing how parents can't wait until their children are back in the classroom and out of the house. It caught my attention so much I really started to think about this and wondered what the reasons were for parents to be so excited about their children leaving them for six to seven hours per day (or more), five days per week.
I found articles discussing that parents are looking forward to their children learning new things, making new friends, and getting into a routine again. Some parents are looking forward to having a quiet home, time to organize their belongings, running errands without tag alongs and just time to themselves without interruption. I also saw some parents are just tired of being with their children, tired of entertaining them, tired of their bored faces, and feel that distance from them during the school year makes the heart grow fonder.
After seeing some of these reasons for parents being excited about the new school year, I honestly could relate. We are a homeschool family so that means we are always together. Colleen especially doesn't get much time to herself and when Michael is home there is not much alone time either. Things in the house are often times in disarray. Toys are everywhere to include bathrooms and the kitchen. Books are spread out in most every room. The school room has activities and supplies all over the table and more than often on the floor. Our family has six people, so there are many things that must be organized on a daily and weekly basis but instead turns into once a month (if we are blessed with the time) and with six people there is always lots of laundry to do. The house always has lots of noise except for during the day when the little ones lay down for a nap and the older ones have quiet time (and that is if the little ones actually nap and the older ones don't get too loud during quiet time). And all of our children desire to be with us and if they for some reason can't find us, believe me, they start a mission to hunt us down which includes calling our names which get louder if we don't answer right away and closed doors (even to the bathroom) won't stop them from laying eyes on us.
So I can relate with other parents when they want the things mentioned above (e.g., the quite home, organized rooms, time alone without interruption, etc.). I can understand why parents are looking forward to being able to do things on their own time. It does help especially when you feel you are getting overloaded. With my understanding of this though, I also have concern. I have concern with the type of message we may be sending to our children. I have concern that in raising up the next generation, we are training them toward a path that could be dangerous and we may not even realize it.
Children: Blessing or Burden?
The first concern and question I had when I saw the comments, pictures, and news articles about parents being excited about their children going to school was this: are our children a blessing or a burden? No doubt many people have read blogs and other sources of information debating this topic. However it is something to seriously consider. For instance, when I saw reports of parents just not wanting to be with their children anymore (after a couple of months) and wanted to turn them back over to the school system; that is not a blessing but rather a burden. When parents are tired of "entertaining their children"; that is not a blessing but rather a burden. When parents want or choose to be away from their children more than they are with them; that is not a blessing but rather a burden.
If we have children, we have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are a blessing. Children come from God. He has fearfully and wonderfully made them just for us. He has given us a life and soul to raise up for Him. Children are the heritage of the Lord. Children are a reward from the God of the Universe. No matter how "good" or "bad" they are, they are our children and they are a blessing. Jesus said that except we be converted and become like little children we shall not enter the kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:3). Jesus saw how much of a blessing they were when children approached Him and His disciples tried to tell them to go away. Jesus reprimanded His disciples and said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14). Children are precious in the sight of God and His Son Jesus Christ and they should be to us as well. A blessing is something desired all the time not just from time-to-time or only when we "feel" like it.
Children: Entertaining and Training
When I saw one of the reasons parents were excited to send their children back to school was because they were tired of having to entertain them all summer, it really spoke to me. I thought to myself, why do they feel they need to entertain them? What is requiring the parents to do all the things they are doing? Many families go on vacations, send their children to camp, go to parties, allow sleep overs, and various other activities. Most parents and children I know enjoy these outings however it surprised me that many parents are doing it not just to create memories but more often than not to keep their children from getting bored. They feel they must be always doing something to entertain them.
There is certainly nothing wrong with being entertained. We all enjoy it from time-to-time. There is certainly nothing wrong with particiating in various activities (assuming they are Godly and decent). However what are parents more concerned about: entertaining their children or training their children? You see, constantly feeling like children need to be entertained is training them. We train our children in various ways. This method of training can lead to discontent and cause habits to form that are hard to break. This method of training can lead to over extending financially just to say "we did this or that." However training our children to be content no matter the circumstances is what God wants for all of us, to include us parents. Paul stated, in Philippians 4:11, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Paul also said in First Timothy 6:6, "But godliness with contentment is great gain."
What are we doing? Are we training our children to constantly be discontent and looking for the next "big thing"? Or are we training them that we can be content without that "big thing"? Are we training them that family togetherness has to be constant moving and doing? Or are we training them that we can be content even when we are still and silent? Are we training them to seek an entertaining and self-serving life? Or are we training them to live a fruitful selfless life? Let us strive to train our children to be content and not get caught up in thinking we must always be entertained and ultimately train them in what this life is all about.
Children: Better When Seperate Than Together?
Some parents think that when there is distance between them and their children the heart grows fonder. I would certainly agree that children and parents alike would miss each other when separated for some length of time. However how much time is enough or too little? It perhaps depends on the individuals. God however commanded something different. In Deuteronomy 6:7 He said, "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when out sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."
Parents here are commanded to teach their children God's Word. They are commanded to teach them dilgently throughout the day and whenever they are with them. This command assumed and expected that parents would be with their children a lot. Parents were expected to teach their children God's ways in everyday life. When they woke up, His mercies renew each morning (Lamentations 3:23). When they are together at home, it is vain to build their house on anything but God's Word (Psalm 127:1). When they go throughout their day together, His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). When they go to sleep at night, He will give rest to serve Him yet another day together (Matthew 11:28).
Something to consider here is that the more children are separate from their parents the less their parents can teach them and train them in God's ways. Even though some children will be separated from their parents because they are in school, it shouldn't be one of the things parents are looking forward to since that is valuable time the children are away without Godly instruction on each area of life. The ultimate desire of every parent should be to stay with them as much as possible to teach and train them per God's command, not look forward to distancing themselves so they will miss each other.
Parents: What Kind Of Message?
This blog is really a message to parents. The message of this blog is to seriously consider the message you are sending to your children. This blog has not certainly covered an exhaustive account of parents attitudes toward "Back to School Time" but rather just a few thoughts that scratch the surface. However the message must be clear. You, parents, send a message to your children every day. Whether you speak or not, you send a message. What message you send matters.
Too often I see parents that love their children and say they would do anything for them (and I do believe this is the case most of the time), however by their words and actions they look forward to being away from them as soon as possible. As I said previously, I can relate to why parents desire the things they do. We have similar desires. We enjoy peaceful conversations with adults without interruptions. We enjoy when the house is clean and organized. We enjoy a quiet home. However, even though we enjoy these things and sometimes we actually get them, this cannot be our ultimate message to our children. We cannot send a message to our children that makes them think that we would rather be away from them than be with them.
You see, as I shared above, we are a homeschooling family. We are together all the time. We do most everything together as a family. Because of this, throughout the weeks and months things in our home are all over the place. The several things I mentioned at the beginning of this blog about the laundry, the school supplies, the books, the toys, the difficulties of organizing, the difficulties of being alone, etc: I wouldn't trade these for anything. These thing are life lessons. Without the laundry to wash, we couldn't train our children how to wash laundry. Without washed and dried laundry we couldn't train them how to fold them and put them away. Without the books spread all over, we wouldn't have many opportunities to teach how to read. Without having disorganization, we wouldn't have opportunities to train how to organize. Without out the noise, we wouldn't have the the opportunity to teach and train about contentment in the silence. Without these apparent burdens, we wouldn't have the blessings of seeing our children grow every day in front of our eyes when they reach milestones in their education but more importantly in their character. This is the type of message we want to portray to our children. A message of life and how to live it victoriously and we want to live it with them, not away from them.
So I can relate with other parents when they want the things mentioned above (e.g., the quite home, organized rooms, time alone without interruption, etc.). I can understand why parents are looking forward to being able to do things on their own time. It does help especially when you feel you are getting overloaded. With my understanding of this though, I also have concern. I have concern with the type of message we may be sending to our children. I have concern that in raising up the next generation, we are training them toward a path that could be dangerous and we may not even realize it.
Children: Blessing or Burden?
The first concern and question I had when I saw the comments, pictures, and news articles about parents being excited about their children going to school was this: are our children a blessing or a burden? No doubt many people have read blogs and other sources of information debating this topic. However it is something to seriously consider. For instance, when I saw reports of parents just not wanting to be with their children anymore (after a couple of months) and wanted to turn them back over to the school system; that is not a blessing but rather a burden. When parents are tired of "entertaining their children"; that is not a blessing but rather a burden. When parents want or choose to be away from their children more than they are with them; that is not a blessing but rather a burden.
If we have children, we have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are a blessing. Children come from God. He has fearfully and wonderfully made them just for us. He has given us a life and soul to raise up for Him. Children are the heritage of the Lord. Children are a reward from the God of the Universe. No matter how "good" or "bad" they are, they are our children and they are a blessing. Jesus said that except we be converted and become like little children we shall not enter the kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:3). Jesus saw how much of a blessing they were when children approached Him and His disciples tried to tell them to go away. Jesus reprimanded His disciples and said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14). Children are precious in the sight of God and His Son Jesus Christ and they should be to us as well. A blessing is something desired all the time not just from time-to-time or only when we "feel" like it.
Children: Entertaining and Training
When I saw one of the reasons parents were excited to send their children back to school was because they were tired of having to entertain them all summer, it really spoke to me. I thought to myself, why do they feel they need to entertain them? What is requiring the parents to do all the things they are doing? Many families go on vacations, send their children to camp, go to parties, allow sleep overs, and various other activities. Most parents and children I know enjoy these outings however it surprised me that many parents are doing it not just to create memories but more often than not to keep their children from getting bored. They feel they must be always doing something to entertain them.
There is certainly nothing wrong with being entertained. We all enjoy it from time-to-time. There is certainly nothing wrong with particiating in various activities (assuming they are Godly and decent). However what are parents more concerned about: entertaining their children or training their children? You see, constantly feeling like children need to be entertained is training them. We train our children in various ways. This method of training can lead to discontent and cause habits to form that are hard to break. This method of training can lead to over extending financially just to say "we did this or that." However training our children to be content no matter the circumstances is what God wants for all of us, to include us parents. Paul stated, in Philippians 4:11, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Paul also said in First Timothy 6:6, "But godliness with contentment is great gain."
What are we doing? Are we training our children to constantly be discontent and looking for the next "big thing"? Or are we training them that we can be content without that "big thing"? Are we training them that family togetherness has to be constant moving and doing? Or are we training them that we can be content even when we are still and silent? Are we training them to seek an entertaining and self-serving life? Or are we training them to live a fruitful selfless life? Let us strive to train our children to be content and not get caught up in thinking we must always be entertained and ultimately train them in what this life is all about.
Children: Better When Seperate Than Together?
Some parents think that when there is distance between them and their children the heart grows fonder. I would certainly agree that children and parents alike would miss each other when separated for some length of time. However how much time is enough or too little? It perhaps depends on the individuals. God however commanded something different. In Deuteronomy 6:7 He said, "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when out sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."
Parents here are commanded to teach their children God's Word. They are commanded to teach them dilgently throughout the day and whenever they are with them. This command assumed and expected that parents would be with their children a lot. Parents were expected to teach their children God's ways in everyday life. When they woke up, His mercies renew each morning (Lamentations 3:23). When they are together at home, it is vain to build their house on anything but God's Word (Psalm 127:1). When they go throughout their day together, His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). When they go to sleep at night, He will give rest to serve Him yet another day together (Matthew 11:28).
Something to consider here is that the more children are separate from their parents the less their parents can teach them and train them in God's ways. Even though some children will be separated from their parents because they are in school, it shouldn't be one of the things parents are looking forward to since that is valuable time the children are away without Godly instruction on each area of life. The ultimate desire of every parent should be to stay with them as much as possible to teach and train them per God's command, not look forward to distancing themselves so they will miss each other.
Parents: What Kind Of Message?
This blog is really a message to parents. The message of this blog is to seriously consider the message you are sending to your children. This blog has not certainly covered an exhaustive account of parents attitudes toward "Back to School Time" but rather just a few thoughts that scratch the surface. However the message must be clear. You, parents, send a message to your children every day. Whether you speak or not, you send a message. What message you send matters.
Too often I see parents that love their children and say they would do anything for them (and I do believe this is the case most of the time), however by their words and actions they look forward to being away from them as soon as possible. As I said previously, I can relate to why parents desire the things they do. We have similar desires. We enjoy peaceful conversations with adults without interruptions. We enjoy when the house is clean and organized. We enjoy a quiet home. However, even though we enjoy these things and sometimes we actually get them, this cannot be our ultimate message to our children. We cannot send a message to our children that makes them think that we would rather be away from them than be with them.
You see, as I shared above, we are a homeschooling family. We are together all the time. We do most everything together as a family. Because of this, throughout the weeks and months things in our home are all over the place. The several things I mentioned at the beginning of this blog about the laundry, the school supplies, the books, the toys, the difficulties of organizing, the difficulties of being alone, etc: I wouldn't trade these for anything. These thing are life lessons. Without the laundry to wash, we couldn't train our children how to wash laundry. Without washed and dried laundry we couldn't train them how to fold them and put them away. Without the books spread all over, we wouldn't have many opportunities to teach how to read. Without having disorganization, we wouldn't have opportunities to train how to organize. Without out the noise, we wouldn't have the the opportunity to teach and train about contentment in the silence. Without these apparent burdens, we wouldn't have the blessings of seeing our children grow every day in front of our eyes when they reach milestones in their education but more importantly in their character. This is the type of message we want to portray to our children. A message of life and how to live it victoriously and we want to live it with them, not away from them.
Now granted this may not always be easy. We are guaranteed to have tribulation in this world and even our own family is not exempt. However it is so critically important that we as parents send our children the message we want to be with them. God designed the family to be together, not apart. God designed children to cling to their parents and parents to teach, train, nurture, admonish and love their children. Only when they get married does scripture indicate children are to leave their parents. Therefore strive diligently to let your children know they are worth being around. Even when they may say or act as if they don't want to be with you, send them the message clearly that you want to be with them.
Lastly, I am not advocating dishonesty with our children in that we don't tell them when we need "alone time". However I am also not advocating that we go out of our way to make it clear we are glad when they will be gone. You see one day they will be gone. They will grow up and they will start their "own" life with or without you. I would rather be with them and them know I want to be with them than for them to ever think they were too much of a burden, or I couldn't entertain them enough, or that at the end of the day it's best we don't see each other often so when we do we can appreciate it more. We only have one chance with our children and then they become adults. Let us not waste time and effort sending a message that we are glad and excited when they are gone. Let us rather strive to send them the message that we are overjoyed to be their parents, we have the priviledge to teach and train them up in the Lord, and when they are not with us, our heart breaks and yearns to be together again. This message matters, both to you, your children, and to God. It will greatly influence your children today and the future generations to come.
Lastly, I am not advocating dishonesty with our children in that we don't tell them when we need "alone time". However I am also not advocating that we go out of our way to make it clear we are glad when they will be gone. You see one day they will be gone. They will grow up and they will start their "own" life with or without you. I would rather be with them and them know I want to be with them than for them to ever think they were too much of a burden, or I couldn't entertain them enough, or that at the end of the day it's best we don't see each other often so when we do we can appreciate it more. We only have one chance with our children and then they become adults. Let us not waste time and effort sending a message that we are glad and excited when they are gone. Let us rather strive to send them the message that we are overjoyed to be their parents, we have the priviledge to teach and train them up in the Lord, and when they are not with us, our heart breaks and yearns to be together again. This message matters, both to you, your children, and to God. It will greatly influence your children today and the future generations to come.
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